March 26th, 2004


The Latest Rundown

Finished the line art for the first Bill and Ted's trade.

Started sketching the Bill and Ted cover for the SLG Free Comic Book Day giveaway. There will be two M&C pages in that comic (Slave Labot Stories #2), as well, a strip I did for a friend and a page intended to be the intro piece for #8. I don't know when Free Comic Book Day is this year, I'm sure there's a badly designed website somewhere for it.

Working on the gag page for Mad. very excited about this. They did a page mock up for me and at the bottom of it, in that traditional Mad typeface, were the words, "writeen and drawn by Evan Dorkin". You know I geeked out. Of course, I'm having a bit of flop sweat on the art, because I'm an idiot. Hopefully I won't screw this opportunity up.

Working on some roughs for Nickelodeon Magazine, a strip we pitched last year. They rejected some of the ideas and I'm having a devil of a time with replacement springboards. I hate getting blocked..

Sarah and I attended a party at the Knitting Factory in NYC for the Cartoon Network's Adult Swim. It was some money-wasting shindig announcing new plans for the block and asking advertisers to advertise. They had some poor schmucks waltzing around in bear and bunny suits, space alien outfits, pirate get-ups and one guy ws in a gingerbread man suit. Brilliant. Saw some people we knew. Most of them didn't recognize me because the last time they saw me I had spiky yellow dyed hair and probably didn't have glasses. Yelled at some people to shut up during Mike Lazzo's presentation. Ate free food and had watered down soda. Went home tofind Mimsy the Cat made a mess of the floors with some fecal matter she had a hard time getting out of her fur. Smearing it on the floors was bad enough, but on the kitchen counter --? Huzzah.

Anyway, our liason to the Swim liked what we told him about what we're doing on the pilot script we're supposed to be writing. Hopefully we can get on top of that sometime next month. I'm starting to figure it all out and really am jazzed about it. I decided to go full on stupid as my approach. It's worked well for me in the past.

The bad news I mentioned recently in a post has been put off for now. It's still hanging over the HOF like a dark cloud, but hopefully it'll pass on by. We shall see in the coming weeks.

We do, however, have had some bona fide good news, as well as some really good news. Unfortunately, I can't discuss any of that stuff, either.

However, I can tell you about where we'll be appearing this spring in our local tri-state area. Check the links to see other guests and information regarding each event, there's some nifty people at all of these shows.

Apr 24th -
Funnyrama Comics and Stuff Spring Break Event
Lake Hiawatha, NJ

June 5-6
Mighty Mini-Con, Syracuse NY

June 26-27
MOCCA Art Festival

Somebody was kind enough to send me some Bill and Ted issues from Fayetville, Ar. No name or letter inside. Thanks very much. If you e-mail me I'd be happy to send a comic or two your way. And John Watt, please e-mail me as I forgot what I was supposed to be sending you for your help with the B&T material. I'm sorry to be so forgetful, things are really crazy and I'm just friggin' exhausted all the time and can't seem to deal with getting back to anyone. I just found out my answering machine in the studio was off for weeks, there's a great way to annoy clients and my mom.

Thanks to those of you who inquired about the original art for sale. Just to let you know, if we don't hear back from you within several days after we send you jpegs of the art you asked for, we give up on you and assume a lack of interest, and if someone else asks about the piece we consider it fair game. We sent images out to a few people who never got back to us, and, nothing personal, but I don't have time to chase after anyone. We're happy to send images out, all we ask is you send us a "No thanks" so we know what's up.

Other than that, things are chugging along, slowly but unsurely. Made the mistake of watching Rob Zombie's House of 1000 Corpses. I had low expectations, and this irritating, dull dreck-a-thon did a limbo walk right under them. All I was looking for was dopey, unbridled stupidity and mayhem, if nothing else, with some creepy oomph owing to Mr Zombie's professed love for 30's and 70's horror films. Well, what he made was a fanboy home movie with a budget, with even less plot, if that's possible, than the 70's films he's emulating, and none of the atmosphere or craziness of the '30's Universal flicks. ALl you get here is a look at Zombie's DVD and record collection, his books on freakshows, and his knowledge of how to make jarring rock videos with dancing chicks in cowboy hats and bigheaded serial0inspired monsters (this all sounds better than it plays out, believe me). The movie is obe extended cliche, starting with the art-directed whacky psycho family (Texas Chainsaw Masacre parts 1-80, Hills Have Eyes 1-2, Mother's Day, etc), and then inexplicably ending with some generic McFarlane action figure/direct-to-cable mutant freakazoid action. Characters are less than cyphers, just meat pawns moved around a cliched pyscho house/creepy woods chessboard. Echoes, hom,ages and rip offs of all the above mentioned films, plus Motel Hell, Tourist Trap, Last House of the Left, name yer poison, it's in there. Acting is a mess save for Sid Haig's genuinely funny take on an unfunny character. Direction is miserable, Zombie works in chunks, unable or unwilling to link scenes logically or naturally, he literally inserts mini-music videos in between scenes to close the seams, cutting to flashbacks, dream sequences, tv screens, movie clips, characters who don't appear anywhere else in the movie spouting bible nonsesnse, and anything else he can come up with to break up the plotless, find them and kill them plot. Like a hopped up teenager drawing a horror comic in his notebook, his main interest is to create as many "cool" murderers as possible, pay hgomage to his favorite films and Famous Monsters tropes, and kill characters off in "cool" ways. His imagination flags, though, his videos have more going for them than this mess, the set pieces are awkward, dull and cliched (murders set to innocuous music, overuse of slo-motion, quick cuts and lense effects, showing the same action three times in a row) . There are no characters to root for, care for, fear for. The four young victim leads are annoying ( I literally couldn't tell the two girls apart, especially as they both wore big coats, eventually got covered in blood, had no distinguishing personalities or dialogue, and then had to wear bunny suits at the end of the movie. Yeah, it comes off as dumb as it sounds). Said "heroes" never have a chance, never fight back, there's no tension, drama, surprises, just more art direction, homages and nonsense. Cameos/roles filled by Fangoria/horror convention regulars don't add much. I'm sure some horror geeks will bitch that Mr. Zombie's "vision" was gutted by having to edit explicit gore out of the film, whoop de doo. What they needed was to edit the explicit stupidity out of this turkey. Gore in and of itself doesn't make a film, otherwise Lucio Fulci would be considered a genius by people other than nihilistic15 yr old stoners. Why bother giivng this guy money to make an unauthorized Texas Chainsaw remake? That's all this is.. really, with the twist being there's this Dr Satan character who really has nothing to do with the film. Not that the film makes any sense, but even as dopey dreck you have to wonde rhow this moron killer clan hasn't been found and arrested after running a HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES. They have a big field filled with crosses, and they act nuts, and go into town to buy booze and crap. Somebody has to deliver the electricity bill. But apparently, nobody's ever heard of them -- cops and locals never met them before, this Brady Bunch killing machine, crazily/illogically enough. And there's been hundreds of people missing in this town over the decades, including a bunch missing during the film's events (this made even less sense than the Disneyland of death under the house of that stupid jepperes Creepers monsterman). Another inept touch was that the film takes place in the 70's, but is so badly art-directed and designed that it looks like the 90's. If you turned this on after the title card tells you what year it was, you'd think it was a modern film out in the boonies with some teens wearing retro 70's crap. Because everyone's wearing 70's crap now, so who can tell the difference (ave for one cheap local news broadcast, there's no hint of the 70's). Anyway, you know I'm really bored when I'm ranting about crappy movies designed to be crappy, but, hell, I want my dumb fun to be fun as well as dumb, not just dumb, or fucking stupid, as the case may be. Hopefully no one will give creepy aging rock and roll guys seed money for horror flicks anymore. Dee Snider's Strangeland was even worse than this, at least Hose of 1000 Cliches was loud enough to keep me awake when the dancing chick videos would kick in. And there's a few clips from good Universal movies, and a nice Creature from the Black Lagoon poster ona wall.. The only thing more terrifying than these films is the fear that Alice Cooper's making a zombie movie.

One day I'll actually post about a good film. Maybe not.

Shit. I'm still bored...