September 22nd, 2004

smokin'

Oy Part 2

Found this letter from the Boston "promoter" in my spam folder today (which is where it belonged), and thought I'd share it with you. A reasoned and professional reply to my post about the con run-in. He signed it, so now this jerk-of-no-trades can be named (although several Boston fans and Allan Rosenberg already let me know who he was). Thought you folks might like a peek into the mind of a professional con promoter off his feed:

Wow! Another guy with an ego because he was born with a talent and will most likely never have to "work" for a living. I called you unprofessional because that is my experience with you. That makes it a fact. You only giving your yellow version of events Saturday makes you a liar. You got up in my face, you self important ass. Maybe having a child will make you grow up. Maybe not. I have been in the business since you picked up crayons and I will be making a living at it when comic fans are saying Evan who? All I heard from you was "I am important and you are not and New York is important and Boston is not". Grow up and be a man. I was going to e-mail you an apology because I embarrased myself stoopng to your level and the incident should not have happened at a place where I have always been treated well at this fine show run by Mike Carbonaro and Allen Rosenberg. Unfortunatly I found your egotistical mutterings on your site. I can now see what a pleasant guest you would have been in Boston. I was goilg to straighten you out on the book numbering thing. I guess I will have to stick with the fine comic guests who thought Boston was important enough to visit over the last 30 years. It is too bad that you think that you are too important to come see any Boston fans that you may or may not have. I am also sorry that you got some rain on you and almost melted in New York. Post whatever you want as I also have a web-site and I will be posting this and forwarding it to interested parties.

Dave Cummings
Primate Promotions
primatepromotions


A few things in reply for your edification and my entertainment:

One, nice of you to paint all cartoonists, and I guess anyone with "talent", as people who don't work for a living. I'm sorry you have to work for a living while I sit here and twiddle my thumbs and think up ways to insult talentless Boston con promoters.
Two, some people in this industry might think a lot of things of me, but from what I can tell "liar" has never been one of them. Several people watched this fiasco, and I don't need to lie or exaggerate about your behavior, it was cartoonish and stupid enough on the face of it.
Three, all you heard was what you wanted to hear, all you remember is what you choose to remember. I did not get in your face. You actually came back to the table, if you'd try to remember the situation correctly, because you called me unprofessional as you were leaving. I then said you were rude. You returned to the table because you obviously felt insulted and had to defend your honor, Boston's honor, whatever the hell was driving you into a frenzy. I'm perfectly willing to take responsibility for my starting something at shows, I've publicly owned up to this in the past . This situation was not of my making, you went nuts for reasons I can't begin to fathom. You insulted me, and I called you on it, without cursing, without raising my voice or doing anything aggressive. You decided to keep it going and escalate it into threats and cursing in front of con-goers, some of whom were kids. You can call my version yellow or call em a liar, it doesn't change the facts.
Four: if I'm unprofessional because I failed to return one phone call, then very likely everyone in this business is unprofessional as well. You think nothing falls through the cracks phone or e-mail wise during the course of anyone's career? I'm sure you've returned every single, solitary phone call and e-mail in your life, because you're an amazing professional person who has been making a living from comics since I was drawing with crayons. And from Boston, no less. I personally wouldn't think anyone was unprofessional for not returning a call, but you've been seething for five years, so perhaps I'm wrong about this and need a course in business ethics and personal correspondence.
Five: if you wanted to stoop to my level you'd need a ladder, you sad, pathetic train wreck of a person. I'd put my reputation up against yours in a Barry Allen second. I'm sorry you feel Boston, a place I actually like, has been maligned. Thank god Boston has Dave Cummings to defend that fair city. I've actually wanted to do a signing there, but as I told you, I haven't been doing shows outside the NYC area for several years now -- what about this don't you understand? As I told you, when I finally lost my temper with you, when you sputtered something crazy about my having the time to go to New York but not being able to make it to Boston -- I LIVE in New York, you moron. I would like to do more shows, but I haven't been able to, having stopped doing the SPX and San Diego and turned down requests to do other venues.I'll agree with you on one thing and one thing only -- I'm incredibly happy I didn't attend one of your primate shows, because I might have done something wholly unprofessional like not pass the salt quickly enough or neglect to thank you enough for bringing me out there, and I would have been left all alone with you and your sparkling professional personality without my pregannt wife to break up what could have been a fist fight. If I ever do get to Boston it'll be to sign at a place like the Million Year Picnic, a professional Boston comics entity.
Six: If you've ever read my work, you'd know exactly how "important" I think I am. Meaning, not very. Maybe this doesn't come across when I'm confronting someone whose own ego has gotten in the way of common sense.
Seven: I'm pretty certain no one will remember me years from now, no shock there. And I'm not terribly popular or famous now, to be honest. But nobody knows or cares who you are right now at this very moment -- and you've been making a living in comics before I was playing with crayons, if I recall correctly.
Eight: Mike Carbonaro told me he asked you for a written apology to me or you'd be banned from the show. I assumed he wasn't serious, because I'm not an important guest to Mike and show promoters don't like losing table customers, but that's what he told me. I know you apologized to him and Allan, because they both told me on Sunday. I also know the only reason you did it is because Mike has tossed people from shows and you were afraid of endangering your "making a living in comics" at the Big Apple shows, you savvy captain of industry you.
NIne: I don't know what you were going to :"straighten me out on" re: some book numbering, but I just wanted to point out that anyone who uses the phrase "straighten you out" speaks to their own self-importance better than I ever could.
Ten: I'm sorry I never called you back. I'm sorry you feel I maligned you and Boston. I'm sorry Wizard World is thinking of doing a show in Boston which will crush your little promotion like an aged roach and throw you and your family for a financial loop. Maybe that's what has you on edge, that or the upcoming elections or the Sudanese genocide. I'm also sorry I ever met you, and I'm sorry people like you keep the stereotype of the immature, emotionally overwrought professional comic book fanboy alive in this industry.
Eleven: Despite my "yellow version" of events, I don't see you denying threatening me, or cursing up a storm on the con floor. You're the one who apologized to Mike and Allan. They apologized to me. The ultimate truth of the matter is that you had to apologize for your behavior, and I was apologized to on your behalf by the convention organizers. Take a few minutes to let that sink in.
Twelve: I stand duly terrified of your powerful website. Really, both I and my modem are quivering in fear of your e-sword of justice smiting us both down with your version of the truth. I myself don't feel the need to forward copies of this around to anyone "interested" because I don't feel the need to wage a campaign to prove anything. If you want to keep this going, fine by me. Unlike you, I don't have to work, I have all the time in the world, so I can endlessly spin this bottle around for all eternity while you waste precious man-hours that could have been spent professionally reading comics or getting worked up over five-year old unreturned calls.
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